Nearly every one of the 30 plus books I have read the past four years on rest and life balance has had one thing in common to them all. The word NO. Here are just a few examples: Michael Hyatt in his book Free to Focus says “Every yes inherently contains a no, acknowledge and understand the trade-offs.”

Greg McKeown author of Essentialism writes, “Saying yes to one thing means saying no to others” He asks what will you say no to?

Gary Keller & Jay Papasan In their book The One Thing mention four thieves of achieving extraordinary results and unlocking possibilities with in you. The first thing listed is the inability to say no.

The Bible says here are your top two things to say yes to. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, and love others as yourself. Anything that fulfills those two commands is a yes, pretty much everything else will be a distraction and is a no.

If you want to live life with passion and purpose, you will say no more often than yes. For example, at your job, if there are ten things you could do and you only say yes to the top two that fulfill your purpose and priorities, you will say yes twice and no eight times.

The tagline of McKeown’s book Essentialism is “The Disciplined Pursuit of Less.” This title in and of itself demands saying yes to a few things and no to everything else. I have found this extremely liberating.

We are taught and led to believe that no is nearly always a negative term. Actually, no is often an extremely positive word.
Healthy eating, exercise, and rest routines, focused and purposeful work habits, building and keeping strong relationships, attaining spiritual, emotional, and mental wellbeing, all involve saying yes to a few key disciplines while eliminating and saying no to everything else.

When needing to say no, you don’t have to be arrogant, disrespectful or rude, but you do need to be firm and have the resolve to stick with your convictions. Often saying no involves sacrifice, maybe short-term pain for long term gain.  Sometimes saying no will result in negative personal consequences. Saying no can be costly. Not saying no can be costly too.

You must learn to flex your NO muscle. No redeems time. No simplifies life. No helps you live a focused life. No helps establish and maintain boundaries. No helps eliminate clutter in your life. No helps set priorities. No is a complete answer.

There is always a trade-off when we say yes to a few things and no to most others. You’ll need to learn to live with this tension. But I can tell you this, the reward and benefits are well worth it.

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