Ever realize that we don’t learn when we’re talking or making statements? However, when we are actively listening and asking questions we learn and gain knowledge. I have increasingly become more and more comfortable in most work and social situations asking more questions and make less statements. It is perfectly OK to be the stupidest person in the room. I’m discovering that in most instances if you are the smartest person in the room, you are probably in the wrong room.

Adam where are you? This is the first question asked in the Bible, and it’s asked by God. All the other questions He asked of mankind were similar, as if to say: What is going on in your heart? Who are you listening to? What are you believing about Me that is not true?  By one estimate Jesus asked as many as 307 questions throughout the Gospels. “Who do men say I am?”  “Where is your faith?” “What do you want me to do for you?”  Interesting Jesus is asked 183 questions and answers only 3.  For every question He answered He asked 100! 

If you think about it Google is not a search engine it’s actually an answer engine.  You enter a query or inquiry; you ask a question, and the answers are presented. When we ask questions instead of making statements, the focus comes off us and on to the person or persons we are engaging with.  One of the lessons I am continuing to learn in my journey toward life balance is “I’m not the center of the universe.”  When we take the focus from ourselves and put it on God and others we are engaging in meaningful relationship.

Try this the next time you are in a team meeting at work, even if you are leading the meeting.  Start with questions. Ask open ended questions, clarification questions, questions to learn and gain understanding of the issue being discussed. Ask team members for input and solutions before you offer yours. In your next personal or social interaction, become a student of the one you are talking to.  Instead of making the conversation about you and all you’ve done.  Turn the conversation toward them. Ask, learn, discover. Make them the most important person in the room. Actively listen to what they are saying.  Steven Covey says – “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand, most people listen with the intent to reply.”

Author and theologian David W. Augsburger is quoted as saying — “Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.” Listening is an act of love. When you listen to people, you are communicating non-verbally that they are more important than you. The last recorded question asked by Jesus in the Gospels was “Peter, do you love me?” Let’s love others by truly listening to them. Ask lots of questions.

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