We are created for relationship. First, we are created to have a relationship with God. Secondly, we are created and designed to have relationship with one another. We are meant to live in community.
When it comes to relationships are you a bulldozer or a bulldog? When relationships are going well and things go smoothly, everyone seems happy. But the moment tension, unmet expectations, a difference of opinion or conflict enters the picture, suddenly what seemed like a great relationship goes south. When that occurs are you more like a bulldozer who buries people in the landfill and rubble of ruined relationships without making the effort toward reconciliation or restoration? Or are you like a bulldog who tenaciously even stubbornly latches on to the relationship and refuses to let go?
We are quite fickle, aren’t we? Often, we’d rather give up and move on, “take our ball and go home.” Instead of “growing up” and extending grace to restore a broken relationship, we take the “gas lighting “approach and take the cowardly path that leads to gossip, trash talking, unbelievably painful agonizing words and actions, adding to the mountain of ruined relationships as we bulldoze our way through life. This is often the case if we have been on the receiving end of hurtful, abusive, or toxic relationships, including struggling with and suffering through the abusive behavior and manipulation of a narcissist.
I get it, relationships are messy. We get hurt, burned, Let’s face it, we are flawed human beings and must grow in the knowledge and grace of our Savior as we mature and begin to move from the deeds of the flesh to manifesting the fruit of the Spirit. No matter how much you have been hurt, no relationship is beyond hope! Please don’t use the excuse, “But you don’t understand what they have said or done to me.” No, I don’t. But this I do know that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us. As followers of Jesus, we are new creations in Christ. And He has given us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ, God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message and the ministry of reconciliation.
I am astounded that when Jesus was in upper room celebrating the Passover as He stripped His clothing and took a basin of water and towel to wash the disciples feet, Judas was in the circle as Jesus stooped down to wash his grimy feet, knowing he would shortly betray him with a kiss and thirty pieces of silver. Jesus loved Judas until the very end. In John 13:1 John writes “He loved them to the end.” Including the one who betrayed Him.
Imagine for a minute the future. The scene in heaven is the marriage supper of the Lamb. You enter the banquet hall and see table after table with place settings and name placards. As you walk up and down the rows and rows of tables you find the placard with your name on it and take your seat. You look to your left and right and at the name directly in front of you. The names are people that when you left this earth you harbored bitterness and unforgiveness toward.
How would that future scene impact your current commitment toward making it your goal to do everything possible to reconcile and restore every broken relationship with a brother or sister in Christ whom you will spend eternity with? Even if those you have fractured relationships with aren’t believers, shame on us for not seeking reconciliation. It could be the one act that demonstrates the love of God and draw them into a relationship with Jesus.
I’m reminded that at the end of the Passover meal after Jesus explains the washing of the feet and how He has given us an example that we should also wash one another’s feet He says, “by this will all men know you are my disciples if you have love for one another.”
What prevents you from taking the first step toward the person or persons you need to pursue reconciliation with? Bitterness, anger, arrogance, pain, pride? Confess it to the Lord. Humble yourself and have the courage to take the first step. If you are going to fight…fight for the relationship!
The Rest Stop 
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