Only in a Western work culture do we blow past relationships and go straight to the task and work at hand. In my overseas travels over the past 24 years, every culture I have encountered understands that relationship precedes task except in western culture and those countries who adopt the west’s work practices.

During my frequent trips overseas to “do business” I quickly learned not to impose a more aggressive work style on those I was interacting with. I learned valuable and precious life lessons. In my travels to Morocco, Kenya, Malawi, Indonesia, Viet Nam and other countries. I learned several lessons the hard way that you don’t even attempt to work on contracts or business deals until a very significant time was spent cultivating the relationship. Engaging in long personal conversations about family, faith, and life. Spending leisurely time enjoying meals around the table, drinking lots of cups of green tea and enjoying special delicacies prepared by our hosts to honor our presence. Only after this extended time did you even entertain the idea of discussing or bringing up business, which usually happened sometimes days later. That may not fit in with our typical “giter done” mentality. But I had to get over myself.

I remember vividly how one of our leaders was attempting to negotiate an especially important contract to air biblical content on a large and powerful transmitter in a country that will remain unnamed. The negotiations were at a standstill and my colleague prayed for wisdom and guidance. The next day he said to the owner, “I noticed when I drove in today that you have a large number of beautiful horses on your vast ranch. He went on to say, “May God richly bless you with as many children and grandchildren as you have horses on your land.” The atmosphere and tone of the conversation immediately changed, and sometime later permission was granted to air our programs.

Are you one of those hard chargers who in almost all areas of life whether work or personal just cut to the chase, and have a let’s just get this done attitude, rather than cultivating and focusing on relationships? This way of working, views people as a means to an end rather than as fellow human beings who we are created and designed to have relationships with. When, we have this mindset we treat people in a transactional rather than transformational manner.

It’s interesting to me how the Apostle Paul in his writings focuses on relationship first and then moves on to task and the work of the ministry to be done. In Philippians 2:25 Paul writes, “Yet I considered it necessary to send to you Epaphroditus, my brother, fellow worker, and fellow soldier.”  Notice the relationship language, and the progression. He referred to him as brother first, then as a fellow worker and then a fellow soldier who he labored and fought together with. There are dozens of passages in nearly every New Testament book that contain this kind of relationship language, where Pauls focus in on the relationship first and then the task at hand.

We are never referred to as human doings, but we often act like it don’t we? We are human beings first and foremost and are called to cultivate relationships through community first and then together we do the work He has called us to do. Let me encourage you to recognize that relationship always precedes task.

After all Jesus gave us the Great Commandment first, then He gave us the Great Commission second. The great commandment focuses on relationship first, to love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength, this is the first commandment. And the second, like it, is this: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” There is no other commandment greater than these.” Then He gave the Great Commission focusing on the task to make disciples. Relationship precedes task, never the other way around.

• YouTube